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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in
beeansidhe02's InsaneJournal:
| Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 | |
| 2:26 pm | Catching up while I'm awake. 2/19 I'm still not worth shooting. I hope I come out of this slump soon, before someone comes over and reports me to Adult Care Services for being the crazy-lady who doesn't take care of herself. I can only hope this really is temporary, or, at least, something I can fight against. Maybe I'm just lazy. I don't know, but I don't like who I've become. I'm thinking about loading the 7 beta for Windows, but I'm hesitant. Yeah, I know, I've had all that training for computers, but I'm still feeling inadequate at it. I guess the best thing is to give it a try and load the Service Packs as they pop up. Goodness knows I can't afford to wait and pay for it. I go in next week to talk to my doctor about my audiology exam. He probably can't do more than give me a prescription for anti-dizziness meds, and anti-nausea. I've been thinking (scary as that is), that my memory is getting so bad. Most of my life is a vague blur. I may just go in here and enter a photo and just talk about it and what memories it evokes. Then, as long as Livejournal is around, I'll have them sotred somewhere. It's not like I've had an exciting life, but I think I should make the effort to remember some of it. At least, if it's here, where others can read it I won't just disappear when I go. I watched Tropic Thunder. I love it. It's just terrible! And Robert Downey Jr. is hilarious as "the dude, playing a dude, who's pretending to be the other dude". I'm having some serious eating issues. I am eating like the world will end if I don't. I'm sure I've put on a few pounds. I don't know what's going on, but I'm eating all the time, and I'm hungry all the time. I'm not even having trouble with my reflux. I've got to get ahold of myself and just STOP ***** If you won the lottery, what would you do with your newfound riches? Oooo! This is one of my favorite games! Assuming it's a big amount...First, pay off all the bill, then: 1-get a car-preferably a hybrid Toyota 2-get a small house, with a fenced yard, and room for planting 3-get a doggie 4-see if my sister needs help with anything 5-travel EVERYWHERE (Seattle first) 6-get teeth implants 7-get lazer hair removal 8-give a big chunk to Children's Hospital 9-join Weight Watchers 10-get reconstructive surgery 11-join a gym (I love playing at a gym!) I'm sure I can think of a few dozen other things! ************ 2/21 I have to drag myself back to life. I may as well make my OCD work for me. Every day I MUST do three things. It doesn't matter what they are, as long as I am doing something constructive. Yesterday I cooked stuff to put in the freezer, took out trash, and did a load of laundry. Today I went to the store, did dishes, and started sorting out stuff that I really don't need, and I don't know anyone else who can use it, and it's going to the trash. Baby steps, as Ariadne advised me. But I've already started doing more things as I see them. I think this will work. ("I think I can, I think I can..."). Love the new show Dollhouse. It's good to see Amy Acker again, and the old Wolfram and Hart set. I like the show, and I want to see where they are going with it. ************ 2/22 Just woke up from my eleventeenth nap and thought it was later than it is. With the new rainstorm, it's looks like it's around dusk. I had to take my nausea meds this morning, and I've been napping all day. The nausea was pretty bad so I took three. Next time - no. Bad Cindy. Bad. They aren't dangerous, but they make you REALLY calm. And I forgot to eat. But...I dragged myself downstairs and took out the trash and grabbed yesterday's mail. Two more things and I can nap again when it sneaks up on me. I', actually looking forward to watching the awards tonight. I am going to record it, just in case, and to avoid ads. (How I love DVR!) I'm also recording Black Hawk Down. I saw the first half in class and I want to watch the last half, but I don't want to sit through the rest of it. Okay. My keyboards is starting to look yummy. I'd better go and eat. **************** 2/23 I guess it wasn't the weather or the Reglan. Today I'm hot hot hot, and I'm coughing. I forgot again to eat yesterday so I'm eating today and then going back to bed. Of course, I'm out of vitamin C and cough syrup. If I still feel crappy tomorrow, I'll head over to the store. ***** 2/24 I'm coughing up some kind of alien lifeform, and my head is killing me. I'm freezing to death for a few hours, then I'm so hot I'm sweaty like it's the middle of August. I have a doctor's appointment to talk over my Meniere's options, but I think we will deal with this...yes? oh goody. Bronchitis. Lots of antibiotics. I told him I couldn't deal with the bus again, and I only had anough money left for one ride home, so he gave me several sample packs. What's a V-pack? Probably a mix of antibiotics? I'm not coughing so bad that it hurts, but I'm bringing up lots of brown yuck. Fever of 102. Lots of fluids, lots of sleep. ****** 2/25 A good night's sleep definitely helped. When I woke up I coughed up a small pony, but otherwise the coughing isn't nearly as bad today. I was a little upset that I couldn't go to the store today, because I can't get enough air to walk that far, but I remembered that I will probably get paid, day after tomorrow. I'll probably mostly sleep until then. Outlook is better. It may be rough, but it's still better than a simple cold. Current Mood:  lethargic |
| Thursday, February 12th, 2009 | |
| 1:39 pm | Bummer. Saw an audiologist. And now we know what's going on with my ear. I have Meniere's. Dammit. ********** Whew! I had to take a nap. I didn't think I did much, but it realy dragged all the energy out of me. And I hadn't eaten before going in...thank the Goddess! An Audiology Evaluation: 1.put on a pair of goggles so that the doctor can watch your pupil responses with little cameras 2.watch the movement of red lights on a light-bar, without moving your head 3.lie down, put up your knees, lay your hands on your stomach, while the doctor shoots streams of water into your ear, first hot, then cold. The hot water makes you dizzy with the room spinning in the direction of the particular ear, and the cold makes you dizzy in the direction of the opposite ear. During all of this you have to think of words starting with a particular letter, or spell words backward, to keep your brain active, so you don't pass out. 4.then, you stumble into a tiny room, where you wear headphones and press a button when you hear the tone, then repeat back whatever words you hear the doctor say. I did okay, very dizzy, but is passed fairly quickly, except for the hot water in the left ear. Purest vertigo. And so, thank goodness I didn't eat-lol. Dr.Bermejo was very nice, but he was very clear, the symptoms and reactions were very clear. I do have Meniere's Disease in my left ear. I looked it up on WEBmd. There is no cure, and it does advance to deafness. I can't take anti-dizziness meds because they make me sick, but I can take Reglan for the nausea. It's just something I will have to learn to live with. To put it in perspective, I may or may not eventually go deaf in one ear in the next forty years, and I may have to take some meds for occasional, mild nausea. That is pretty mild in comparison to my diabetes, which often makes me sick, and can kill me. If I can deal with that, the ear problem is no big. |
| Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 | |
| 5:47 pm | And yet another (I need a hobby!) 1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be? Someone asking me to go out. 2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Sure, if I'm not parked in the north forty 3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? A listener. 4. Do you take compliments well? I say thank you and feel uncomfortable. 5. Do you play Sudoku? Nope. 6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Depends. In California, yes, you walk down until you find a road. 7. Do you like to ride horses? More than life itself. 8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? I enjoyed Girl Scout camp 9. What was your favorite game as a kid? Shetland Whacking. (bitey little bastard) 10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it? No. My life is full of enough emotionally challenged people. 11. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? I suppose. I'm not dating to start a cult. 12. Do any songs make you cry? Follow You Follow Me by Genesis 13. Are you continuing your education? Well, I was until they dropped me for a while. 14. Do you know how to shoot a gun? I know how, but I hate the noise. 15. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Dog, and my purse 16. How often do you read books? Every minute I can grab one 17. Do you think more about the past, present or future? The present. The past can't come back, and the future has too many question marks. 18. What is your favorite children's book? Alice in Wonderland 19. What color are your eyes? brown 20. How tall are you? 5'7" 21. Where is your dream house located? Carmel 22. Do you have a secret fetish? No 23. Have you tried sushi? As often as possible 24. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Not in about 40 years 25. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? My retirement party 26. When was the last time you were at Church? Connie's funeral 27. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? Out to the trash bin 28. What was your favorite job? working in a riding stable 29. Do you like mustard? sweet hot mustard 30. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? sleep 31. Do you look like your mom or dad? neither actually, I look like my great-granny White 32. How long does it take you in the shower? about 5 minutes 33. Can you do splits? not on my best day 34. What movie do you want to see right now? Coraline 35. If you could fast forward your life, would you? No! There's not that much left. 36. What did you do for New Year's? Played Dragonolgy with a drunk 15 year old 37. Do you think The Grudge was scary? I liked The Ring better. 38. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls? No 39. Do you own a camera phone? no 40. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers? no. No ex's. 41. Was your mom a cheerleader? Yes, and what a surprise. 42. What's the last letter of your middle name? u 43. Do you like your middle name? It's okay 44. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? depends. Anywhere from 2 hours to 18 hours. 45. Do you like care bears? no 46. What do you buy at the movies? popcorn and soda 47. Do you know how to play poker? I think I do 48. Do you wear your seatbelt? absolutely 49. What do you wear to sleep? nothing 50. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? certainly 51. How many meals do you eat a day? no meals, I just grab something when I'm peckish 52. Is your tongue pierced? Does biting through it count? 53. Do you like funny or serious people better? It depends 54. Ever been to L.A.? lots - it's next door 55. Did you eat a cookie today? no 56. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? I have a service 57. Do you hate chocolate? Yes, it's evil and predatory, and keeps stalking me and jumping into my mouth! 58. What do you and your parents fight about the most? Nothing. Mom's dead, and I won't mind when Dad is. 59. Are you a gullible person? (yes) 60. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? no 61. If you could have any job what would it be? I've always wanted to be the person who travels everywhere, rating the condition of service station/mini marts. 62. Are you easy to get along with? yes, as long as you worship me 63. What is your favorite time of day? morning |
| 5:42 pm | And another one! 1. What is your name: beeansidhe 2. A four Letter Word: work 3. A boy's Name: Irving 4. A girl's Name: Georgia 5. An occupation: writer 6. A color: puce 7. Something you wear: earrings 9. A food: cheesecake 10. Something found in the bathroom: me 11. A place: Perth 12. A reason for being late: the dog ate the baby 13. Something you shout: Shuddup! 14. A movie... Spirited Away 15. Something you drink: cream soda 16. A musical group: Beatles 17. An animal: platypus 18. A street name: Truxton 19. A type of car: Escalade 20. The title of a song: Does You Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight? |
| 5:35 pm | LEMMING! One word meme -- harder than it looks to some extent. Answer each question with just ONE word. Cleverly hidded behind the cut 01. Where is your cell phone?.....................purse 02. Your significant other?.........................dead 03. Your hair?................................... 04. Your mother?................................. 05. Your father?................................. 06. Your favorite thing?............................books 07. Your dream last night?.........................vivid 08. Your favorite drink?............................horcha 09. Your dream/goal?............................. 10. What room you are in?........................living 11. Your hobby?.................................. 12. Your fear?................................... 13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?.......everywhere 14. Where were you last night?..................bed 16. Muffins?................................ 17. Wish list item?..................................c 18. Where you grew up?..........................here 19. Last thing you did?.............................mail 20. What are you wearing?.......................clothes 21. Your TV?..................................... 22. Your pets?................................... 23. Friends?................................ 24. Your life?................................... 25. Your mood?................................... 26. Missing some one?.............................Connie 27. Car?.................................... 28. Something you're not wearing?...............glasses 29. Your favorite store?............................book 30. Your favorite color?............................green 33. When is the last time you laughed?.........yesterday 34. Last time you cried?...........................forgot 35. Who will resend this?..........................someone 36. One place that I go to over and over?.....bathroom 37. One person who emails me regularly?......Bev 38. My favorite place to eat?.....................home 39. Why you participated in this survey? ......enjoyment Current Mood:  bored |
| 5:33 pm | Weirdness Day! Now the local witches Meetup is dissolved because the owner of Altarbookshoppe, and her cronies have decided that the pagans of Bakersfield are all a bunch of low-lifes and predators. This from a person who sponsored Pagan Pride so that she could turn a profit! And it turns out that she closed her shop because we were expected to buy, buy, buy to keep her open. The shop itself is of shady origins. And her close friends were screaming at people no NEVER go into the shop unless they intended to buy something. She never gave me trouble, but I was always a little uncomfortable around her, and I was very uncomfortable around people like Jamie and Missy. They are very nasty people. And when they started attacking Sherri for no reason, and spreading lies about her, I had enough. Katie did me a good turn once, and I wish her well, but she needs to take her ill will to her own town and stop trying to milk the pagans in this one. There are two other, very nice, life-affirming, and positive shops, The Enchanted Cottage, and Insight. Katie had a few nice things, but we will manage quite well without the negativity coming from her friends. ******* I went in to check on the status of my state tax refund. Guess what? They are not issuing tax refunds. Just a note that they will be sent out if, and when they may get the money. Bullshit. ********* I've been dropped from school. Denita told me not to worry about it, they would put me back in as soon as I can bring in paperwork from the doctor. I'm not worried; they'll work with me. I don't come back, they don't get paid. I need to get back to school. Too much longer at home, doing nothing, and I may give up on it. I don't want that to happen. |
| Friday, January 30th, 2009 | |
| 4:46 pm | Must...be...payday... I got up and waited until 9am, when the deposit goes through. I took a cab to the bank at California and Stockdale, took out my money and caught the bus. I went to KMC to get my meds, then caught the bus to East Hills, to Walmart to get a money order for my rent, and put money on my VISA to pay my cable bill. I really needed a watch, and found a totally cute pink one. I caught the bus, back across town to Albertsons, on Brundage and Chester, then called for a ride home. Talk about a Freudian Slip, I honestly forgot to pick up rice and veggies. I did get potatos, onions, avocadoes, garlic, and some pico di gallo, so I do have some veggies, and some rice at home. But right now, I'm being bad and having a small bag of chips and sour cream. And one Coke. Back to R&V tomorrow. And nyah nyah nyah, I'm having Hagen Daas tonight. Goddess! I am so easy to please! I love my new watch! Current Mood: exhausted |